reax music magazine :: music + culture » Reviews » Coldplay - Viva La Vida

I love a good bomb. I mean a real stinker.  A piece of work where so much preparation was put into it and the result is so horrid that all future epic acts of failure are referred to the prior shit bomb by name: "Ishtar," "Waterworld," "Gigli," Big Brown (the horse), The New England Patriots, Rap n’ Rock.  Considering the investment Capitol/EMI has in Vida La Vida, I cannot imagine a bigger bomb in music history.  It is so pretentiously exotic—while still adhering  toward broad mainstream tastes—and unnecessarily expansive that I pray for a Youtube clip of the recording session to see what Brian Eno bullshit Coldplay lapped up.  Vida is so off the mark of its aim, the debacle is damn near admirable. “In for a dime, in for a dollar,” my mother used to say, and Coldplay throws in all of their dimes in what is ostensibly their final metamorphosis from aping Radiohead into aping U2.  Every ounce of Vida yearns to stretch beyond its expected frame.  This music was intended for one purpose: filling up 40,000 capacity amphitheaters promoted by Live Nation.  The good news is the overabundance of shoe gaze, world beat, and 10 piece orchestras do a wonderful job of hiding Chris Martin’s deficient writing.  “Just because I’m losing, doesn’t mean I’m lost,” is just one of the many Dr. Phil-isms Martin comes up with.  Vida is filled with these grandiose half baked ideas that don’t stand on their own.  So many of them are mashed together into jarring messy Frankenstein tracks.  Even when Martin goes back to what he does best—alone on the piano, confessing his sins, evoking the greatness of “Spies”, as he does on “42”—the band comes crashing in, as if to say, “See! We’re not mopey pussies!”  Rolling Stone recently quoted Martin as saying that Radiohead was the band that bush wacked a trail, only for Coldplay to follow behind building a mini-mall.  Well, from the sound of Vida, Mr. Paltrow, you’ve built yourself the next fucking Mall of Americas.  Happy retailing!