I didn't get into this line of work to review bars, restaurants, or venues.  I'm here for the albums, the shows, and the interviews.  I've been around long enough to know that most bars or venues are going to be shitholes in their own right.  Its the music that makes the night. 

Plus, I would never presume to possess enough power in my position at REAX to shut down a business for shitty business through the influence of my writing.  That's rather difficult when I have an audience of only six people and four of you right now are sitting in the Orient Road Jail Library.  (Hi Mom!)

But, that thought doesn't seem to phase many rock journalists from flexing their pens toward local establishments.  

So for all of you tyrannical jukebox controlling bartenders, there is a new sheriff in town:  Creative Loafing's Wade "Gunner" Tatangelo.  In a bravado only reserved for Channel 8's Keith Cate, Ren McCormick, and The Simpsons Comic Book Guy, Wade takes on shithole bars across the Bay area (or just south of Kennedy Blvd) for your right to listen jukebox without interruption.  From CL's latest and greatest, Mr. Tatangelo review's Yoeman's Pub on Davis Island:

"The Yeoman's scene was less dramatic. But it was fucked all the same. After having our ears pummeled by old-school metal, Sal managed to get some Al Green and then Hall & Oates on the jukebox. I'm not too keen on their saccharine ditty "Say It Isn't So," but it's soothing, which is the kind of music you usually want to hear during happy hour. I ordered a drink at the bar while the song played. The bartender took my dollar tip from the jar, gave it to his dirtball buddy -- who was wearing a faded black Iron Maiden T-shirt -- and told him to "play something good."

Iron Maiden roared. Then Pantera. Sal retaliated with more melodic pop. Dirtball countered with more metal. Finally, other patrons weighed in with selections by contemporary jam-band fave Robert Randolph and the Allman Brothers' 'Jessica.' The pale, scowling bartender gave up trying to control the music selections. Unfortunately, his insistence on commandeering the jukebox will make me take pause before returning to an otherwise great pub with tasty food and cheap beer."

Just keep in mind, when patronizing the secret pleasures of Davis Island or SoHo, our man Wade does not like to talk music.  Approach at your own peril.

Wade, I know mining the scene for stories while working for a weekly can be tough--there can be only so many Velvet Revolver shows to suckle from--but this seems a tad lazy, let alone unnecessarily vindictive.  (Although I can see where you get it from, working for a magazine that gives out annual awards to its own staff.)  Couldn't you ignore your Darfur-sized injustice and moved north to The Hub for a satisfying taste of jukebox entertainment and then center your feature on a Pepsi Challenge of the two bars. 

Then again, The Hub isn't exactly virgin territory for an alternative paper to write about it. 

To be fair, and to provide equal time, I leave you with Wade in his own words.  This is an informative interview he gives with "independent" (and Creative Loafing sponsored, ahem!) internet radio Media Talk about his most recent, but unheralded, feature on Slash from Gn'R/Velvet Relvover fame.  His vast knowledge of "The Gunners" is quite apparent: