Madonna's career changed with her album, American Life. Public (and fan) opinion seemed to be divided. Some considered the album her ultimate artistic triumph. Others considered it a low point in a long and illustrious career. All opinion aside, the numbers spoke. American Life was the lowest selling album of Madonna's career (although a cool million copies would make any independent artist thrilled…)

(Somewhere during this era Madonna's Truth Or Dare sequel, I'm Gonna Tell You A Secret, showed on VH1. I remember it was aired as a hurricane approached Tampa. I was afraid my city would be gone the day after I watched that movie…but it was still there…)

News about the follow up project first surfaced on Madonna's website herself. Considering the normal amount of secrecy and timing involved with a forthcoming Madonna project…it was a change of pace to see candid reports of a Madonna work-in-progress. Reports stated the album was going to be a return to Madonna's dance roots. The reports also stated that the album would be sequenced as a continuous mix.

My first initial thoughts about this project was that it was an obvious safe bet after the commercial failure of the last project. Madonna doing a blatant dance album was sure to recapture her audience (and sales). I was apprehensive. This certainly marked a new point of reference for Madonna. I had only known Madonna as a trail blazer…forging new musical and artistic paths since day one. This forthcoming dance album seemed to reek dangerously of treading water…

Through the early months of 2005 news was steadily released about the forthcoming Madonna dance album. The first single was to be titled "Hung Up" and it was legendary in that it sampled an ABBA song. The album was to be titled Confessions On A Dance Floor.

"Hung Up" first made its appearance as a short loop online. Upon first listen, I have to admit that I was in love. This was classic Madonna. No statement. No pretentiousness. For the first time in years Madonna was doing a pop dance song without an agenda, and it worked. Hearing the short snippet of the chorus of this song made me hungry for me.

Steadily the track list and lyrics of Confessions was released on Madonna.com. It was definitely good marketing on Madonna's part to reach out to her fans with the marketing of this album. There was a 1-800-Confessions phone line where one could call and "tell Madonna their secrets". Naturally, I called. With the pre-promotion of Confessions it was as if Madonna was taking down some of her walls. Letting people in. It was almost as if Madonna knew she lost some of her commercial relevance and marketability with American Life. The way to win people back was to be more open with them. Hence the early release of the track list, the album cover, the lyrics, etc. (I thought it was so strange Madonna had a song called "Forbidden Love" on the album…was it a cover of "Forbidden Love" from Bedtime Stories? How odd…)

Upon hearing "Hung Up" in its entirety I loved it. I was in the midst of heartbreak and the song's message of empowerment was well timed. Many nights were spent driving around playing that jam. I loved the Confessions cover when I saw it. Red haired Madonna in a pink leotard.

In my own personal life something had changed by the time Confessions came out. I was different. Maybe I've lost a lot of hope. But between American Life and Confessions I lost a lot of passion. And maybe I feel like I'm running in place sometimes. I am no longer excited about music the way I once was. And I am certainly not hopeful about love the way I once was. So I was as excited as I could possibly be about the impending release of Confessions.

I did my normal tradition. I drove to the 24 hour WalMart. I waited forty five minutes for the gentleman to get off his break and to go into the back and get the new Madonna CD out of the box. And he did. And there was the new Madonna CD in my hands. I loved the back cover…a picture of Madonna's shoe in front of a disco ball.

Driving home from my purchase of Confessions I once again got the Madonna tears. In its single edit, "Hung Up" was a brief two verse/two chorus song. But the album version featured a really rad breakdown that I hadn't heard. And when I heard that breakdown I was showered with the power of Madonna at her best. I was moved only the way Madonna can move me… (and the video for "Hung Up" was great…classic Madonna looking hot as ever…)

Upon first listen I was immediately in love with "Get Together". Like "Hung Up" this was classic Madonna pop. After those first two songs I was home. I remember going up to my room and listening to the remainder of the CD while I chatted online to my friends.

I listened to Confessions twice that night. And I did love the album. In fact, the album became my favorite album of the year. I listened to it endlessly. For a moment in time, I would have sworn that it was the best Madonna album ever made. But even upon first listen, I was greeted with a different feeling than I'd ever gotten listening to a Madonna album. There were sounds on the album that were new to Madonna, but not new to the mainstream. For the first time in her career, Madonna wasn't really bringing something new to the table. It wasn't a good thing. It wasn't a bad thing. But it was a strange thing.

Upon first listen I was surprised at how dark a lot of the songs were. I was expecting the new Madonna dance album to harken back to the positive major key dance-a-thons of "Holiday" and "Into The Groove". However, Confessions charted a more industrial, dark-wave slant than any of Madonna's prior dance hits. To this day I fail to see where the tribute to disco is on this album…the album feels much more early 80s New Order than Gloria Ganyor or Chic…by a mile…

It was interesting to pick through Confessions and match up the various self-referential bits thrown into the album. "How High" incorporated song titles from Music. The intro to "Let It Will Be" was shades of "Papa Don't Preach" (as well as "Don't Fear The Reaper.") Throughout the album were references to much of Madonna's prior catalog. This only added to the strange vibe of Madonna re-capping as opposed to her usual trail blazing.

For the later part of 2005 and early 2006, Confessions was the only CD in my CD player basically. As usual, it became incorporated into my life. My friends Summer and Stu cited Madonna's lyric "you can only learn so much in one place…the more that I wait…the more time that I waste" should be an inspiration for me to move out of Tampa, Florida.

My ultimate favorite moment on the album…the moment that captured Madonna at her most Madonna was during the opening verse of "How High". The song opens with "It's funny…I've spent my whole life wanting to be talked about…" which was followed by the ultra-sassy "I DID IT!!" intoned as only a sassy Madonna could intone it. I also loved how Madonna rhymed "New York" with "dork". It was such a horrible rhyme, but it got people talking. People still talk about that line today. I heard it in a recent conversation. That's Madonna doing what she does best…

Confessions On A Dance Floor will always remind me of the Florida winter of 2005. I remember driving around to the album with foggy cold windows. Chilly nights. And I became a little chilly myself at the time. I still have yet to unthaw. The hazy dark synth tones of all the songs added to the eerie fogs of cold Florida night.

I ended up buying the limited edition version of Confessions for the bonus track "Fighting Spirit." I loved it even more than some of the album cuts. I especially enjoyed the incorporation of a chime sound that seemed to recall Blondie's "Rapture".  (Other non-album cuts "Superpop" and "History" were less than stellar...)

If anything, Confessions was a throwback to classic Madonna. And in a way it did feel good to have her back. This was her most unabashedly pop without an agenda since maybe…even TRUE BLUE. As weird as it was to hear Madonna tread water…it was nice to have her back as a pop singer.

Since Confessions my life has seemed to gone in warp speed and slow motion at the same time. I have memories---seeing the video for "Sorry" for the first time at a club in Chicago. Seeing the video for "Jump" the first time at a country gay bar named Wranglers. But it no longer seemed as significant…a new Madonna video. I remember dancing with my friend Robin to "Hung Up" at a Halloween party. Rolling on the floor. It felt like the glory days…again…if only for a minute. But it wasn't. Maybe something just changed in me…maybe I'm just getting older…

Despite my apathy towards music I knew I wanted to see Madonna's Confessions tour. I won tickets on eBay. I had just gotten out of a horrible relationship. I remember being sad the entire drive to Miami alone. It was a strange day.

The concert was good…but not as good as Re-Invention Tour. I expected to cry again. I didn't. I expected to be moved. I wasn't. Truthfully, I was a bit bored. It wasn't until "Erotica" that the light in me became alive. Madonna, for some reason, was doing the demo version of "Erotica" that was never released…a version with different lyrics and everything. During this live song I began to tear up. I remembered my old friends…that were around when the original Erotica came out. I remember my life and passion as it once was. Maybe the concert wasn't as good because two loud girls were talking and smoking right next to me the entire time. It was very hard to watch and concentrate. It almost felt like Madonna's franchise overshadowed the art. It had become a business. It was a business I loved a lot, and was willing to spend a lot of my money on. But it seemed like the fire was a bit dimmed…

And then I drove home. To Miami, in front of Madonna, and back home in the same night. Broken hearted. Surreal.

Madonna's Confessions era turned out to break records. She sold a lot of albums. Her tour grossed an extreme amount of money. I watched the concert on TV. My friends were supposed to come over and watch it with me. They didn't. I watched it alone.

So what holds the future of Madonna? What's next? So that's my life. I am 33 years old. Madonna came into my life when I was an enthusiastic eight year old. Full of life and thunder. And at 33 Madonna is still in my life. I still love her as much. She has a new album coming out next week. Initially when I heard she was working with Timbaland and Pharrell I was disappointed.  In a career based on opening new doors, it seemed like a bandwagon move.  I heard demos this summer and I didn't like them very much. I had a fear after all these years that Madonna and I would be parting ways…

But the outlook is good. The cover art for the forth-coming Hard Candy shows a nearly 50 year old Madonna with her legs spread. At first I was apprehensive. But then I re-considered. Who said you had to sing slow songs when you get old? Who said you had to wear baggy black dresses? Maybe Madonna will re-define the stigma that goes along with aging.

The first single "4 Minutes" has already been incorporated into my life. Every day at work my friend Jessica and I, at 4:44 play our ringtones (the song) and do our "4 Minutes Dance Off". I was totally indifferent to the song at first. I like it now.

Stayed tuned. The career of Madonna will continue. And so will the life of Jeremy Gloff. Will these two universes continue to be intertwined? The next chapter is beginning soon and new memories will be created.