I've always been a loud and proud Tampa advocate. I've written songs about it. I've talked about it in my advice column. I've written long and rambling essays speaking of my love for this strange, off-beat city. I came here in October 1998. I planned on being long gone by 2000. But the years crept by. And I stayed.

I learned the most things I've ever learned while living in Tampa. I learned how better deal with my constantly buzzing head. I've learned how to sing better. I've learned how to deal a deck of cards. And a million more things too.

I flew in lovers from my past to Tampa. I hosted touring bands and showed them the time of their lives. When Tampa is good, it's really good. Sometimes it's even the best. I've watched literally hundreds of people come and go. What a transient city this is. And when people talk about leaving I've always gotten bitchy and loyal to this city. And when people come back to visit after they've moved, I always ask if they like it better where they moved to. Quite often they do.

Something strange happened this year. After living here nearly ten years ... touring a lot ... and vacationing a lot ... for the first time ever, I didn't want to come back home. I always enjoyed my time elsewhere. I am the kind of person who just flat out enjoys life. But in the past, I always was happy to see that manatee on the rug at the airport. He always welcomed me back ... and so did the humidity ... and so did my friends ... home sweet home.

I went to New York City and played a show in June. I've played New York a few times before. It was always okay. I always liked New York, but it never grabbed me. If anything, I've always snickered at the hundreds of people who always migrate there. Herd mentality. And I've always resisted. I didn't want to be the 810th artist to turn their back on their small city for the risk and the possibly greener pastures. I felt that everything New York had ... well, we had it too. Maybe less of it. Maybe in smaller versions. But it was still here.

Something strange has been in the air in Tampa lately. A lot more people than usual are talking about leaving. Big names in my life. Key people. People I don't know what I'd do without them. Irreplaceable people. Part of me wants to chalk it up to the economy. With gas so high, and jobs scarce ... people don't have the money to go out like they once did. So the streets are a little more dead.

But oh, how the streets are dead. On a given Monday or Tuesday night ... I never remember the streets being quite as vacant as they are now. I once loved the quaint silence but lately it's starting to feel claustrophobic.

And so I wonder if my love affair with Tampa is ending. A friend of mine just came back from Chicago. He was enraptured with the streets so alive. The movement. The bodies. The volume. And after his Chicago trip, and my New York trip, we keep talking about our "ATMs" -- which are "anti Tampa moments." This whole ATM thing is new to me. I once was so in love ...

I always had this hopeful theory. That there were amazing creative people hiding out in Tampa. In the suburbs. Awesome people I haven't met yet. Amazing underground things going on. And that someday I'd find them. My friend Anna ... I asked her if she thought they were out there ... she said "no, Jeremy, they aren't."

And so I had to ask myself ... what's changed? Why am I so unhappy? Why this discontentment? And in the past ... when I felt such a strong love for this city I made a list of the things I loved about it. And now that I am struggling with should I stay or should I go ... I found myself at work making a list of things I don't like about it here. And I want to share them. If only to open a dialogue. Or at the very least, to vent. I want it to rule here. I wish I could feel the rule right now. I don't.

THINGS ABOUT TAMPA I WISH WOULD CHANGE:

1) Don't book a show on Saturday

With my upcoming huge CD release party (as part of Sound FX live) happening on a Saturday ... I sure hope my little observation here doesn't apply. The last few times I've booked shows on Saturdays ... a few people came. But a good chunk of my tried and true friends chose the Orpheum over me. And it's happened repeatedly. Of course you always hear the same stories. "I couldn't make it to Ybor in time." "I got out of work late."  "I didn't have the money to get in." It's so fucking discouraging. I've found it hard to develop a following of show-attending fans in Tampa. At the very least, I should want to ideally hope I could depend on my closer friends to come to my shows. Some do. But a lot have dropped the ball in favor of another night of drinking and dancing. I'm sure it's like that in every city. But having lived in other cites and developed a show-attending fan base outside of my friends ... it leaves a sour taste in my mouth and makes me hesitant to book at home. So, basically I am telling my friends ... if anyone goes anywhere else besides my CD release party on September 20th ... I'm never talking to them again.  Yes, I mean it.

2) No parks where the "cool" people hang out.

I can't help it. I like getting lost in crowds. I love the park in Brooklyn where all the scenesters play frisbee and walk their dogs. Or Cenrtral Park.  I love Piedmont park in Atlanta where there's always a lot of cute gays. And people with books and picnic baskets. Even in my tiny-ass hometown up in Western New York there's a park where the artsy people kind of flock to to their thing. Tampa has no park where people just drop in to hang amongst breathing bodies. I love walking around with my iPod and just people watching outside. Yes, we have Bayshore, which I LOVE. But I wish Tampa had a sort of outdoor hub, if you will, where you can just drop in and see people you know ... or just as good people you don't know that are good to look at.

3)  Tired Playlists at the clubs

'80s night was rad as fuck when I moved here in 1998. After raving my way through the mid '90s in Buffalo, it was cool as hell to come here and sink into the '80s nights. It was fresh and campy. Ten years later, the routine is becoming suffocating. Later on in Tampa, more current nights emerged ... that all deteriorated into predictable playlists. Even some of the more quirky nights here sometimes seem to replay the same tracks ... which is a shame when there's millions of songs to choose from. Ideally, in my own utopia ... I would love if maybe you heard a few familiar songs a night, mixed with new and exciting songs to try out some dance moves to. My favorite night in Tampa right now is Pulp Friday Night at Czar.  For a few weeks the playlists were getting monotonous and repetitive, but the last few times I've gone there's been fresh jamsm and I appreciate the hell out of that.

I know it's a catch 22. If DJs play new and innovative stuff, the dance floor clears, and DJs want to keep the dance floor packed. But unless people are challenged, they won't change. It seems we are okay in Tampa with settling for the routine. That's cool. I accept that. I don't have the right to ask anyone to change. I personally am not fulfilled by the routine. It makes no sense for me to expect a whole city's culture (as still-life as it is sometimes) to change. I have to go elsewhere. And that makes me sad. It was so thrilling to hit a club in Seattle that was playing shit I've never heard all night. And to see people dancing to it. And to find out that the songs are different every week. All those who are pro-Tampa reading this now are probably thinking "well if you hate it here Gloff, so elsewhere." That's my struggle. I love it here. I wish it would change. But it won't. So do I accept hearing the same songs for the next ten years at the Castle ... or do I move on?

Please, all my friends who DJ, do not feel disrespected. I love you so much as people. It also frustrates me that my songs are being played in Seattle, Atlanta, and New York at clubs ... but my own hometown won't embrace me. It's a tough pill to swallow. I don't know what to do about it. Accept it? Not care? It's hard. Very hard.

4) There is no scene for the 30s/40s crowd.

A guy last night online complained to me that Tampa isn't geared for the young minded. I disagreed. I think Tampa is perfect for the youth. I had a blast here dancing my way through my wild 20s. Once I hit thirty something changed. I know now that I am the older guy at the club. I relished being in New York and hitting some hip and contemporary clubs whose main demographic was those from my generation. A good chunk of people my age either moved away from Tampa ... or had kids ... got married ... got jaded ... and "grew up."  Well, Jeremy Gloff is a creature of the dance floor. I grew up on the dance floor. I don't want to retire it because I am choosing not to follow our society's idea of how people should live their lives in their 30s. But it's a bit tiresome to hit the clubs and to mostly be surrounded by people up to fifteen years my junior. I have no interest in re-capturing my youth. I have no interest in being "one of the kids."  I have friends of all ages ... of course. But I am 33 years old 100% of the time. Not a year younger, nor a year older. I would very much like to enjoy a nightlife atmosphere with people my age, listening and dancing to contemporary music. Not the tired old retro nights with people still hanging on (which I adore sometimes...don't get me wrong). But goddammit, I am still vital. I am still growing. There's new and unexplored. I wish to partake of that new and unexplored with my contemporaries. So do I stay in Tampa? Will I be the weird 40-year-old guy at the Castle? That sounds like a horrible idea. It scared the shit out of me that a lot of my friends are getting married ... and maybe soon will have kids.   When they do that ... what will I be left with? I don't want to sit home. Going out and dancing to me is part of feeling alive. But I don't want to hang out with mostly 19-year-olds to do this. I am struggling with this, hard.

5) Built-in crowds.

My friend who just went to Chicago was surprised how his friends there would just look in the paper, see a potentially cool event, and then attend it. From all my experience of throwing shows in Tampa, I've struggled with pulling in a crowd outside of my built-in-crowd. It seems people (including myself!!!) are hesitant to step outside of their comfort zones and attend events. Me and my friends only go places where we know our friends are going to be. And that seems to be the pattern with about everyone I know. I know this is an opportunity for me to set an example. At the risk of feeling super-socially-awkward ... I should try out some art shows, concerts, events that look cool and have nothing to do with people I already know. My biggest fear is that when I go ... everyone there will know each other and I'll be the blantant lone outsider. What if we all took more chances? Wouldn't that be fresh and nice? I'd love that.

6) Duh the no public transportation thing.

Is it even worth writing about? Wouldn't an EL make this place amazing? Wouldn't it connect the sprawl?  Wouldn't it draw us closer? There's no money to do it. It's not even a hope. There is no hope.

7)  I wish Tampa had its own strong individual identity.

Tampa is gritty. I love that about it. There's something genuine, down and dirty about Tampa. I love it here so much ... it would be hard as fuck for me to leave, even though the idea is popping into my head more than it ever has before. My friend helped throw an event at a club. The owners described their own club as having a "South Beach vibe." And another club wanted a "New Orleans vibe." And another club wanted an "L.A. vibe" ... and another a "NY vibe." With so many people going somewhere else, and those of us staying here trying to BE like somewhere else ... what about our own identity? Isn't there anything unique enough about us for something to have a motherfucking TAMPA vibe? Let's pinpoint something that's OURS ... and let's promote it. Hang out to it strong. Make our own slogan. Figure out what it is about US that makes us US. What makes Tampa Tampa? Lord, let's hope what makes us isn't the desire to mimic somewhere else???

8) "Come to my show this weekend."

A thousand musicians tell me to come to their show. I never go. I tell those same thousand musicians to come to my show. They've never come. And so goes this endless cycle. We all support each other from a distance. But let's face it: we never really go to eachother's shows. Maybe they'd come if I went to theirs ... or I'd go to theirs if they came to mine. And so the lack of community spins.  Is it too late to change it?

And so those are some of my thoughts and struggles. I want to say on the record how LUCKY I know I am. The press, the radio, the public, and the clubs have all been supportive of me. I do hope I don't seem as if I'm biting the hand that feeds me. My love for Tampa is strong and deep. But lately, I feel like I still want to move forward and this discontentment is driving me crazy. Am I missing something? Please people - write to me about amazing things going on I'm stupidly missing? I want to still work towards making this a great place. I HATE HATE HATE when people say "Tampa has no culture."  I take that statement personally, because I work very hard to add my creativity to the culture of this city. When someone says Tampa has no culture, they are basicaly saying that everything my friends and I do is worthless. And that pisses me off.

But there's still so much need for progress. I'm torn. And I hate feeling that way.

xoxo jg