Art Imitates (Someone Else's) Life
Dear Gloffy,
Since you're an artist yourself I really want to hear your opinion about artists incorporating other people's secrets into their works of art. I am not talking your own secrets (you are free to do whatever you want with those), but secrets and embarrassing tales other people have told you about themselves. Do you think it is OK to use other people's secrets in your own art? Should you warn them about it and ask their permission about using their secrets? Where would you draw the line? Recently, my favorite performance artist and I ended our year-long association because he staged one of my most embarrassing secrets in his most recent performance piece.
Signed,
Steamed in Germany
Dear Steamed,
When art and interpersonal relationships mingle, things can get quite muddy. On one hand, many artists draw from their personal experiences and observations. I've drawn a lot of inspiration from conversation. On the other hand, part of being a friend is respecting the invisible line between public and private. I think the answer to this question could differ depending on the situation. How close is the friendship? How personal is the secret? What are the effects of said secret being used in the art? Has the secret been used creatively? Throw that all in the blender and see what you come up with. Perhaps Lindsey Buckingham was grappling with the same issue when he wrote "Walk A Thin Line" for Fleetwood Mac's Tusk album. Sounds like your friend was walking that same thin line. So did this friend tell you anything juicy? Maybe we can write a song about it together.
Hi Gloffy,
I have a lot of problems, but I am not sure if I really do. I don't want to talk to people especially in a crowded room, but I like company. I hate people but I love them too. Sometimes I feel very inferior, but I have confidence. Someone told me that I have low self-esteem and also that I don't want people to understand me. Right now I am wondering if I am just an asshole and I am trying to hide myself from the world. I am hiding myself from the world because I don't want to hurt anyone. I have a few close friends but I am lonely without being comfortable in public. I feel that if I don't find a way to reach out to people that this social awkwardness will turn into a permanent hermitage. A hermitage that I find I am already setting myself up for. Please give me some advice here Gloffy I am in pain.
Sincerely,
Loner at heart
Dear Loner,
With our modern culture geared toward immediate escapism it can be a lonely place for the philosophic and the introspective. If you ever joked that maybe there's nothing wrong with you it's the rest of the world … maybe you were right! Regardless, any healthy social infrastructure should be built from the ground up. There's nothing at all wrong with spending some time alone and sorting yourself out. Iron out those self-esteem issues. From there, strengthen your immediate friendships. Learn to trust and open up to people you are already established with. From there, if you choose to be more social you will be better equipped.Come on out of the dark, just like Gloria Estefan did in 1989 ... and into the light!
Write to me by going to the Dear Gloffy page on JeremyGloff.com. It's easy and anonymous … just like Internet sex!!!
Since you're an artist yourself I really want to hear your opinion about artists incorporating other people's secrets into their works of art. I am not talking your own secrets (you are free to do whatever you want with those), but secrets and embarrassing tales other people have told you about themselves. Do you think it is OK to use other people's secrets in your own art? Should you warn them about it and ask their permission about using their secrets? Where would you draw the line? Recently, my favorite performance artist and I ended our year-long association because he staged one of my most embarrassing secrets in his most recent performance piece.
Signed,
Steamed in Germany
Dear Steamed,
When art and interpersonal relationships mingle, things can get quite muddy. On one hand, many artists draw from their personal experiences and observations. I've drawn a lot of inspiration from conversation. On the other hand, part of being a friend is respecting the invisible line between public and private. I think the answer to this question could differ depending on the situation. How close is the friendship? How personal is the secret? What are the effects of said secret being used in the art? Has the secret been used creatively? Throw that all in the blender and see what you come up with. Perhaps Lindsey Buckingham was grappling with the same issue when he wrote "Walk A Thin Line" for Fleetwood Mac's Tusk album. Sounds like your friend was walking that same thin line. So did this friend tell you anything juicy? Maybe we can write a song about it together.
Hi Gloffy,
I have a lot of problems, but I am not sure if I really do. I don't want to talk to people especially in a crowded room, but I like company. I hate people but I love them too. Sometimes I feel very inferior, but I have confidence. Someone told me that I have low self-esteem and also that I don't want people to understand me. Right now I am wondering if I am just an asshole and I am trying to hide myself from the world. I am hiding myself from the world because I don't want to hurt anyone. I have a few close friends but I am lonely without being comfortable in public. I feel that if I don't find a way to reach out to people that this social awkwardness will turn into a permanent hermitage. A hermitage that I find I am already setting myself up for. Please give me some advice here Gloffy I am in pain.
Sincerely,
Loner at heart
Dear Loner,
With our modern culture geared toward immediate escapism it can be a lonely place for the philosophic and the introspective. If you ever joked that maybe there's nothing wrong with you it's the rest of the world … maybe you were right! Regardless, any healthy social infrastructure should be built from the ground up. There's nothing at all wrong with spending some time alone and sorting yourself out. Iron out those self-esteem issues. From there, strengthen your immediate friendships. Learn to trust and open up to people you are already established with. From there, if you choose to be more social you will be better equipped.Come on out of the dark, just like Gloria Estefan did in 1989 ... and into the light!
Write to me by going to the Dear Gloffy page on JeremyGloff.com. It's easy and anonymous … just like Internet sex!!!
