Vampire Weekend: Almost Done Sucking
As I’m writing this, there is something truly beautiful happening.
After approximately 14 minutes and 59 seconds of unworthy attention, another buzz band is fading into the realm of obscurity populated by noxious acts such as Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and the Arctic Monkeys. This particular group was distinctively undeserving of the praise rained down upon them from Blog Heaven, and yet they managed to parlay that fame into a mostly sold-out tour and an appearance on SNL (for which they canceled two shows and a festival appearance - way to sell out your fans for exposure). I’m of course referring to the four uber-preppy kids of Vampire Weekend, possibly one of the worst bands to ever back a fantastic name with contrived non-relevant music.
Thank God it’s over.
My apologies to any of you hipsters out there who were in the first wave of year 2k7.8 to pick up on these guys. I’m sure in your mind they were going to change the face of music and culture with their “afro-pop-inspired sweater rock,” but they’ve managed to inspire nothing more than a few drummers in New England to throw out their use of rhythm and a couple of kids in the Midwest to wear pastels. Which would be a feat in itself if A) drummers didn’t need rhythm, and B) kids who wear pastels in the Midwest didn’t get beaten on a regular basis. It would appear that the amount of cultural change that VW has inspired is minimal and unneeded. So I'm sorry, I really am. I'm sorry for all of the money that you spent buying sweaters and cheeky button-up shirts in an attempt to look like a Cambridge student, and I'm sorry for all of the hours that you probably spent dancing to Vampire Weekend songs trying to understand the “uniqueness” of their “groove.”
As you can see, the deeper that you get pulled into the grips of VW’s music, the more sharply your understanding of rhythm dips. You can’t argue with science.
But what of the deep philosophical questions brought up by this group of enlightened philosophers? “Who gives a fuck about an oxford comma?” A very important question indeed. I'm more interested in some of the more existential mysteries that they could’ve tackled, like “what the fuck is a mansard roof?” Or the ever-mystifying “what the hell does Cape Cod have to do with Kwasa Kwasa?” Undoubtedly, all questions for the ages that these bold young men could have addressed on their debut album, but for reasons unknown they decided to let these great enigmas of reality go unanswered. Perhaps in their exalted semi-Ivy League minds, they felt that the world was not ready for this level of information. Surely if the masses were privy to such universal knowledge the world would end (and we wouldn’t have to wait for the French to fire up CERN). We should all thank them, thank them dearly for merely grazing the topics lightly enough to make music writers and armchair philosophers like myself scratch our scruffy heads and say “what the fuck?!” Oh, and we should show our gratitude and buy their record. Summer scarves aren’t cheap, you know.
But I digress … let’s get back to relevance. Good music should resonate with listeners to the very core of their personality and being. Artists that have stood the test of time have written songs that are not only pleasant to the ears and hearts of listeners, but also have lyrical content that people can relate to. This is the ever-elusive “relevance” to which all artists with a drop of altruistic blood should aspire. Unfortunately in the case of Vampire Weekend, what you get is a sad bunch of college kids who probably didn’t want to grow up and go to work with their dads in finance or real estate, so they remake a Paul Simon record with enough 2k7 lo-fi to appeal to hipsters. It’s altogether disgusting that this band made enough noise among non-professional media outlets to get a record contract and actually chart, but the good news is that by the end of 2k8 they will have disappeared into the abyss of none-hit wonders. and never be heard from again. It’s a small consolation to see 15 minutes of fame dry up after suffering through it, but it always warms my heart to see something die a deserving death.
After approximately 14 minutes and 59 seconds of unworthy attention, another buzz band is fading into the realm of obscurity populated by noxious acts such as Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and the Arctic Monkeys. This particular group was distinctively undeserving of the praise rained down upon them from Blog Heaven, and yet they managed to parlay that fame into a mostly sold-out tour and an appearance on SNL (for which they canceled two shows and a festival appearance - way to sell out your fans for exposure). I’m of course referring to the four uber-preppy kids of Vampire Weekend, possibly one of the worst bands to ever back a fantastic name with contrived non-relevant music.
Thank God it’s over.
My apologies to any of you hipsters out there who were in the first wave of year 2k7.8 to pick up on these guys. I’m sure in your mind they were going to change the face of music and culture with their “afro-pop-inspired sweater rock,” but they’ve managed to inspire nothing more than a few drummers in New England to throw out their use of rhythm and a couple of kids in the Midwest to wear pastels. Which would be a feat in itself if A) drummers didn’t need rhythm, and B) kids who wear pastels in the Midwest didn’t get beaten on a regular basis. It would appear that the amount of cultural change that VW has inspired is minimal and unneeded. So I'm sorry, I really am. I'm sorry for all of the money that you spent buying sweaters and cheeky button-up shirts in an attempt to look like a Cambridge student, and I'm sorry for all of the hours that you probably spent dancing to Vampire Weekend songs trying to understand the “uniqueness” of their “groove.”
As you can see, the deeper that you get pulled into the grips of VW’s music, the more sharply your understanding of rhythm dips. You can’t argue with science.
But what of the deep philosophical questions brought up by this group of enlightened philosophers? “Who gives a fuck about an oxford comma?” A very important question indeed. I'm more interested in some of the more existential mysteries that they could’ve tackled, like “what the fuck is a mansard roof?” Or the ever-mystifying “what the hell does Cape Cod have to do with Kwasa Kwasa?” Undoubtedly, all questions for the ages that these bold young men could have addressed on their debut album, but for reasons unknown they decided to let these great enigmas of reality go unanswered. Perhaps in their exalted semi-Ivy League minds, they felt that the world was not ready for this level of information. Surely if the masses were privy to such universal knowledge the world would end (and we wouldn’t have to wait for the French to fire up CERN). We should all thank them, thank them dearly for merely grazing the topics lightly enough to make music writers and armchair philosophers like myself scratch our scruffy heads and say “what the fuck?!” Oh, and we should show our gratitude and buy their record. Summer scarves aren’t cheap, you know.
But I digress … let’s get back to relevance. Good music should resonate with listeners to the very core of their personality and being. Artists that have stood the test of time have written songs that are not only pleasant to the ears and hearts of listeners, but also have lyrical content that people can relate to. This is the ever-elusive “relevance” to which all artists with a drop of altruistic blood should aspire. Unfortunately in the case of Vampire Weekend, what you get is a sad bunch of college kids who probably didn’t want to grow up and go to work with their dads in finance or real estate, so they remake a Paul Simon record with enough 2k7 lo-fi to appeal to hipsters. It’s altogether disgusting that this band made enough noise among non-professional media outlets to get a record contract and actually chart, but the good news is that by the end of 2k8 they will have disappeared into the abyss of none-hit wonders. and never be heard from again. It’s a small consolation to see 15 minutes of fame dry up after suffering through it, but it always warms my heart to see something die a deserving death.
Scott
to ssdt...
I dont do the HRO website but I appreciate the connection. HRO is one of my favorite blogs because of the mix of satire and turning people on to new music. If you would've asked me if my name was Hemmingway I wouldnt have been more flattered.
posted Dec 18th 2008, 19:01